{the soul's muse}

{wednesday}

2008-08-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Film.

2008-08-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

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I got three rolls of film developed today. Nothing beats film. It possesses a beauty that is unmatched by any other medium. These aren't perfect, but I love them. I adore the color in the kitchen picture. It's rather 70s, and that makes me happy. It looks like it happened a long time ago.

I love film.

oh noezzz!

2008-08-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

{pout}

2008-08-10T10:49:00.001-07:00

Essence of Family

2008-08-09T10:55:00.000-07:00

Um, hi, welcome to I want a huge fucking canvas of this.

The Magic Bathroom | Revisited

2008-08-09T09:47:00.001-07:00

Had a mini-sesh with le boy yesterday that turned out to be very similar to one I did a few weeks ago.

There's just something magical that happens in there. I can't explain it.

Can't See Me.

2008-08-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

Processed with one of my new actions - a highkey desaturate.

This is Ourselves Under Pressure.

2008-08-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

Find the Spider!

2008-08-08T15:05:00.001-07:00

SOOC. :-D

Max Got One Hell of a Haircut Today.

2008-08-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

.lifeless.

2008-08-07T15:13:00.000-07:00

{how the morning went}

2008-08-07T15:02:00.001-07:00

{plucked}

2008-08-06T20:26:00.001-07:00

I processed this with an action from my soon-to-be released, top-secret action set.
;-)

{keep on growing}

2008-08-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

batter up!

2008-08-05T18:28:00.001-07:00

{tuesday}

2008-08-05T14:39:00.001-07:00

Pool Day!

2008-07-21T15:30:00.001-07:00

{some goodness}

2008-06-24T13:57:00.001-07:00

{morning songs}

2008-06-23T15:51:00.000-07:00

{crazy diamond}

2008-06-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

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{mysterious love}

2008-06-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

{accomplished}

2008-06-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

{look closely}

2008-06-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

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{grateful daily | day twenty-two}

2008-06-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

today i am grateful for
the twinkly bells
that are the sound of his laughter

{you'll never know, dear}

2008-06-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

{when you look back}

2008-06-18T18:59:00.001-07:00

love. cuddles. make believe. warmth.

you. me.

this is what i want you to remember. when you look back.

it's us. every day here, in our little family. watching you flourish. astonished.

when you look back, i want you to remember our moments; if not clearly, then remember them as a blur of happiness.

i want your entire childhood to be one delicious blur of happiness.

i want you to know how important you are. i want you to look back and see how your spirit grew, how you became who you are today, someone i don't know yet know, but will never forget.

i want you to love you as much as i love you.

{downward}

2008-06-18T18:57:00.001-07:00

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{healing machine}

2008-06-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

he says he's got a healing machine
that glows in the dark
glows in the dark

say there's not a lot of me
left anymore
just leave it alone

- tori amos

{faces of love}

2008-06-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

{sum of all parts}

2008-06-16T09:32:00.001-07:00

{house rennovations}

2008-06-11T12:45:00.000-07:00

{mini photo session}

2008-06-11T12:32:00.001-07:00

{born at the wrong time}

2008-05-30T17:24:00.001-07:00

Seriously, people. It's almost comical.

I am this >.< close to saying things like, "You damn kids with your ipods and your cell phones and your eminem music songs."

I do NOT belong in this era. I should have been born in about 1950. Then I would have been 19 in 1969 and that would have suited me much better.

When I made this Sunset Black & White action, I kind of had a vision of what I wanted it to look like. I was picturing the photos inside the 4 disc CD collection of The Band's Last Waltz.

I've mentioned The Last Waltz several times here primarily because I essentially worship it. Music, in many, many ways, is a central part of my spirituality. And, at the risk of sounding 150 years old, 'they' just don't make music the way 'they' used to make it. Not even close.

{grateful daily | day fifteen}

2008-05-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

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today i am grateful for
every breath he takes
_________________________

when he came out, he didn't cry.

i will forever remember two things:

the first time i saw his face.

and the silence.

the nurses took him to the warming table and poked him and prodded him and tried to get a response.

my head was turned as far to the right as i could get it, my neck was strained as the doctor stitched my wounds. i couldn't see him; the nurses blocked my view, but then they parted and i saw his pink skin, his tiny feet.

and then...he cried.

he wailed once, one long, earth-moving cry.

he was handed over to me and i looked into his eyes and said, 'it's you.'

and then they took him again, just grabbed him from my clutches, the nurse's brow furrowed with concern. they took him and went running from the room, and daniel said to me, 'should i go with him, should i go with him?' and i said 'yes yes yes' but all the while i was trying to get up, stand up, get out of that bed, pull that fucking IV from my hand, get to my child, get to my SON.

but my legs didn't work and the nurse made me lay back down. i wouldn't stop until they finally brought me a wheel chair and took me down to the NICU.

he was there, so tiny, so frail.

he was a baby bird.

he'd gotten a lung infection and needed IV antibiotics. my arms ached to hold him, but all i could do was stroke his feet. my chest swelled - i wanted him at my breast, in my bed.

three long agonizing days he had to stay there. but his infection was gone seemingly overnight. he responded favorably to the antibiotics and began to nurse right away. i could hold him, then, i could put my head against his chest and feel his new heart beating away.

breathing in.
breathing out.
never so thankful for breathing in my life.

and i am, still. i listen to him breathe when he sleeps. when he thinks quietly, when he 'reads' his books.

i listen to the breathing.

every breath, a prayer of thanks passing over my lips.

{grateful daily | day sixteen}

2008-05-30T17:21:00.001-07:00

today i am grateful for priceless gifts
made by the tiniest of hands

Quote of the Day.

2008-05-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

"I've always regretted not being more promiscuous." - Amanda

Protection.

2008-05-30T13:09:00.001-07:00

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{don't ever put this body in a casket}

2008-05-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

I've been adoring Kimya Dawson for a long time, but today I REALLY listened to this song for the first time.

This song resonates with me SO deeply. I listened to it over and over and over and over and over again.

my head is pounding I can't stop the pounding
I think it is going to explode
and kill everybody who's in close proximity to the place I call my home
and they'll make a moving made for tv movie for Life Time all about my life
that ends with an epitaph one that will make you laugh
that says "great mom okay wife"
at it'll be funny to the people who know me
who know if my body's not burned
my soul will spend an eternity in misery
tethered and bound to this earth
so I'm not a dick or a stick in the mud always ruining things for my friends
I mustn't forget when I see the sun set that tomorrow it will rise again

so I tattoo instructions on my ass
that say "don't ever put this body is a casket
burn it and put the ashes in a basket
and throw them in the Puget Sound
I don't ever want to be under ground"
oh no, oh no

I wearing size thirteen basketball shoes
and laugh at your fishnets
I'm freaked out and fucked up
and I'm standing alone in an alley with you
wanting to show you a cure for your hiccups
but instead I close my eyes
the needles are numbered so I'm writing you letters
and I cannot disguise the fact that I'm nervous when we are together
and so I fantasize
that the nights will get shorter and the days will get better
I feel a kick inside and decide
if this is a girl I'm naming her Heather
she'll look just like you but her hair will be feathered
she'll say how you died before you ever met her
her hair will be feathered

my head is pounding I can't stop the pounding
I think it is going to explode
there are plus and minuses to sinuitus
like sometimes I get to go home
but mostly it hurts so bad I think I'm dying
I just blew my nose and now I feel like crying
and the dreams that I have are all of my past lives
and the seizures would paralyze me in the night
and I wake up clutching my teddy bear tight
I'm drooling and trying to turn on the light
all I can do is hold fast and sit tight
but what if they forget 'cause you know they just might

so I tattoo instructions on my ass
that say "don't ever put this body is a casket
burn it and put the ashes in a basket
and throw them in the Puget Sound
I don't ever want to be under ground"
oh no, oh no

"Underground", Kimya Dawson

Go here and listen to "Underground":

profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile...

(hell, listen to ALL of them).

{when the mind remembers}

2008-05-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

wrote this quite a while ago.

the path often changes
as we walk its crooked spine
decisions become heavier
meatier
and regret looms overhead
staring into the face
of its most brazen foe

memory serves to prove
that it wasn't all in vain
that with experience
comes absolution
a bargain for the soul
a meeting of the minds
a sharp stain
on an otherwise unblemished character
a repercussion reminder
that i will readily ignore
when faced with the hope
of a new
resurrection

{image & words copyright jennifer summer 2008}

{grateful daily | days nine & ten}

2008-05-23T17:27:00.001-07:00

day nine:

today i am grateful for
tiny domestic triumphs

day ten:

today i am grateful for
neighbor's with green thumbs

{click images to view larger}

{and then the rain came}

2008-05-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

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{grateful daily | day seven}

2008-05-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

today i am grateful for
warm hugs & soft blankets

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{grateful daily | day eight}

2008-05-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

i took this yesterday, but forgot to post before bed.

today i am grateful for an attentive listener during story time

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{some captures of the precious one}

2008-05-22T08:52:00.001-07:00

in the land of make believe

processing for this one inspired by the legendary Sally Mann.

{until night falls}

2008-05-22T05:37:00.000-07:00

available in the etsy shop

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{grateful daily | day six}

2008-05-19T15:16:00.001-07:00

today i am grateful for
a soft, cleansing rainfall
outside my door

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{where did my baby go?}

2008-05-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

{grateful daily | day five}

2008-05-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

today i am grateful for
old friendships
that continually blossom anew

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{grateful daily | days three & four}

2008-05-17T13:14:00.001-07:00

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{100 roses}

2008-05-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

my best friend is graduating from law school on saturday
her mother sent her 100 roses
and, naturally, i photographed them
the images i took will be used for her save-the-date, party invitations and thank-you notes

{grateful daily | day two}

2008-05-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

today i am grateful for
a kiss from a cold nose
loyalty
and a love
that requires no words

{i've decided to make the series 30 days in length}

{grateful daily | day one}

2008-05-14T12:23:00.001-07:00

i started a new photo project today
daily photos and a message stating what i am grateful for
i'm not sure how long i'll make it
i originally thought about doing 365 days
but i have a very hard time sticking with tasks that take that long
so i will just keep going
until i stop

{click image to view larger and read text}

{morning tea}

2008-05-14T09:37:00.001-07:00

here.

{story time with dakota}

2008-05-11T16:34:00.000-07:00

Translation:

Once upon a time there was a one named jacket and he don't like it and I don't like it and I don't like the story. I don't like it. Please. Thank you. Bye Bye. (at the end: "here ya go.")

{some words on wishes}

2008-05-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

today we spent a lot of time in our backyard. this is the first home you've had in which you've always been fully aware of your surroundings. i think you love it here.
you especially love our little pond with the fountain in the backyard. you've taken to dropping in little trinkets from mother nature and making wishes. today you wished for trees. you wished for leaves with mayonnaise. you wished for mama's camera. you made wishes for papa. you dropped your wishes into the water and watched the breeze send them fluttering.

you got dirt from sticks under your fingernails. leaves clung to your overalls. you laughed. loudly. you cheesed for my camera.

my wishes for you went unspoken. they are simple.

be true to yourself.

be kind. think before you speak. consider before you act.

live in the moment. but plan for the future.

know that there is nothing
you cannot do

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{halves}

2008-05-10T12:22:00.001-07:00

i like
halves of things
and negative space

i think it's because
the possibility of something
is more intriguing to me
than the something
itself

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{the roots collection}

2008-05-10T10:35:00.001-07:00

a set of ten natural still photos, printed on 5×5 high gloss professional paper with a stunning white border. set comes with natural hemp cord and wooden clothes pins for a fresh new spin on photo display. set comes to you in a beautiful linen wrapped package.

purchase the roots collection

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{with love from me to you}

2008-05-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

when i was first pregnant with dakota, i filled up several journals with my thoughts on the journey. and then came the quiet, peaceful days of his newborn-hood when he would spend hours sleeping and i would log his every coo and gesture. now that we're well into the toddler years (and quickly approaching the 'kid' years), i've slowed down considerably on my chronicling. i have to amend this. i want to be able to give him his early years in words, in images. i want his memories to be tangible.

this drive is what truly sparked my interest in photography. i found a way to give him these things through a medium that brings me intense joy.

i am continuing to chronicle. i am dusting off the journals. i am writing his story.

while he lives his life, i fill the pages.

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{papa's guitars}

2008-05-09T14:16:00.001-07:00

photo taken by my beautiful child

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